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"Time to gather up the splinters, build a casket for my tears..."
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Insomniacs Rant
November 2, 2004
3:42AM CDT
I have terrible insomnia. I woke up from a very bizarre nightmare about the Bush Junta pulling it off to see that they are pulling it off. I am incredibly depressed. Not nearly as depressed as I was when I heard about this whole “Moral Values” issue being the number one concern for voters and how Gay Marriage tops the list of concerns. Also how exit polls in eleven states about a ban on gay marriage passed with flying colors. Not to mention how these questions were tossed onto the ballot in key battleground states including the infamous Ohio to get Ultra-Conservatives to the polls. The gay marriage issue literally may have lost Kerry the election.
Now, whether or not I ever get into a relationship deemed worthy of marriage remains to be seen. This is a very personal issue to me because it points to the fact that the majority of people in this country smile and laugh and watch “Will & Grace” and “Queer Eye” and try to make Us feel like there is something to equality while secretly seeing ANY relationship that We get into as inferior in the eyes of God, in the eyes of the law and in their own eyes. Just when I thought we had moved a few steps in the right direction, the truth comes out.
One of the sections in my pathetic benefits (what passes for medical benefits under the aforementioned Bush Junta) handbook lays this bias out very clearly. Though we do have domestic partnership benefits it states very clearly that if you are married to someone of the same sex you are considered single and it doesn’t constitute a family change. Basically, this means that even if I’m in a relationship with someone for fifty years (approximately a million times longer than any of Jennifer Lopez’ marriages) I have to check the “Single” box my entire life because of some ridiculous fucking prejudice. I have higher insurance premiums, higher taxes and the humiliation of distinguishing myself on paper as “single” for my entire life. Not to mention, if I was on my death bed and I had a homophobic, Neo Conservative, Hope For Change religious family, they could legally block my partner from coming into the hospital room to say his final goodbyes.
Change is a slow, disgusting process. I am hurt. I am angry. I am going to look at ALL straight people with suspicion, more than I already have been. Smiling at my face and thinking I have an inferior relationship in the voting booth? It’s truly sad that there has to be this kind of separation between us all.
And as far as this country goes? We’re fucked. Four more years of the Neo-Conservative Bush Junta will see even more of our civil liberties stripped away, the possibility of up to four new ultra-conservative Supreme Court nominations, they will dig us deeper into this bullshit oil war while simultaneously lining their own pockets, continue slapping our foreign allies in the face in the most ridiculously arrogant, imperialistic fashion, and the gap between the upper class and the lower class will continue to widen. Higher education will take it up the ass, the minimum wage will remain where it is (below-starvation wages), health care and prescription drug costs will soar (I currently have a $50 prescription drug co-pay!! Thank god I gave up those anti-depressants!!) , the US will continue to violate the Kyoto agreement and send us spiraling ever-closer to catastrophes due to global warming. That is if we don’t all get vaporized first by some nuclear bomb because we pissed off the wrong people. Oh, and the draft? I’m counting the days.
As for me? I can rest assured that I live in a pocket of sanity here in the upper Midwest. In a few years I will be moving onto a four year school and I’m eyeing those other pockets of sanity on the east and west coasts and the gigantic one above us in Canada.
3:42AM CDT
I have terrible insomnia. I woke up from a very bizarre nightmare about the Bush Junta pulling it off to see that they are pulling it off. I am incredibly depressed. Not nearly as depressed as I was when I heard about this whole “Moral Values” issue being the number one concern for voters and how Gay Marriage tops the list of concerns. Also how exit polls in eleven states about a ban on gay marriage passed with flying colors. Not to mention how these questions were tossed onto the ballot in key battleground states including the infamous Ohio to get Ultra-Conservatives to the polls. The gay marriage issue literally may have lost Kerry the election.
Now, whether or not I ever get into a relationship deemed worthy of marriage remains to be seen. This is a very personal issue to me because it points to the fact that the majority of people in this country smile and laugh and watch “Will & Grace” and “Queer Eye” and try to make Us feel like there is something to equality while secretly seeing ANY relationship that We get into as inferior in the eyes of God, in the eyes of the law and in their own eyes. Just when I thought we had moved a few steps in the right direction, the truth comes out.
One of the sections in my pathetic benefits (what passes for medical benefits under the aforementioned Bush Junta) handbook lays this bias out very clearly. Though we do have domestic partnership benefits it states very clearly that if you are married to someone of the same sex you are considered single and it doesn’t constitute a family change. Basically, this means that even if I’m in a relationship with someone for fifty years (approximately a million times longer than any of Jennifer Lopez’ marriages) I have to check the “Single” box my entire life because of some ridiculous fucking prejudice. I have higher insurance premiums, higher taxes and the humiliation of distinguishing myself on paper as “single” for my entire life. Not to mention, if I was on my death bed and I had a homophobic, Neo Conservative, Hope For Change religious family, they could legally block my partner from coming into the hospital room to say his final goodbyes.
Change is a slow, disgusting process. I am hurt. I am angry. I am going to look at ALL straight people with suspicion, more than I already have been. Smiling at my face and thinking I have an inferior relationship in the voting booth? It’s truly sad that there has to be this kind of separation between us all.
And as far as this country goes? We’re fucked. Four more years of the Neo-Conservative Bush Junta will see even more of our civil liberties stripped away, the possibility of up to four new ultra-conservative Supreme Court nominations, they will dig us deeper into this bullshit oil war while simultaneously lining their own pockets, continue slapping our foreign allies in the face in the most ridiculously arrogant, imperialistic fashion, and the gap between the upper class and the lower class will continue to widen. Higher education will take it up the ass, the minimum wage will remain where it is (below-starvation wages), health care and prescription drug costs will soar (I currently have a $50 prescription drug co-pay!! Thank god I gave up those anti-depressants!!) , the US will continue to violate the Kyoto agreement and send us spiraling ever-closer to catastrophes due to global warming. That is if we don’t all get vaporized first by some nuclear bomb because we pissed off the wrong people. Oh, and the draft? I’m counting the days.
As for me? I can rest assured that I live in a pocket of sanity here in the upper Midwest. In a few years I will be moving onto a four year school and I’m eyeing those other pockets of sanity on the east and west coasts and the gigantic one above us in Canada.
